Anonymous Career Counselors

Of all the angry anonymous comments I read, my favorites have to be the ones that suggest that I find another line of work. These individuals simply cannot believe that someone who writes the things that I do could possibly be a caring, compassionate, competent physician. They view me as the symbol of every ER doc who has ever denied them their narcotic of choice, questioned their honesty, neglected their concerns, made them wait too long, rushed them through a visit, or spoke to them in a less than satisfactorily ass-kissing manner.

And because they are experienced ER patients, they think they know what qualities emergency physicians should possess. Apparently the willingness to dispense Dilaudid on demand is high on their list, but they also expect the complete absence of cynicism even when we are off the clock. They don't want a doctor...they want Jesus with a syringe.

I enjoy these sorts of comments not only because I'm an enthusiastic shit-disturber, but because I also believe that I am providing a sort of therapeutic service, free of charge. I'm charitable like that. When these folks' unrealistic expectations are unmet, their angry complaints to the hospital administrator are fruitless, and their carefully-typed rants to the patient relations department are answered with a generic form letter, they need somewhere else to vent their frustration. Disgruntled patients, I'm your huckleberry.

Incidentally, my real-life patient complaint file has exactly one letter in it over the past year which isn't even a complaint at all; it's a thank-you letter which praises my bedside manner. So vent away, suffering idealists of the world. I'm here for you. You can thank me when you see me.