Life as a Cruise Ship Doctor

Sounds like fun.

"The clang of a gangway or thrust of engines usually wakes me up. The cabin is efficiently spacious; a double bed, computer, TV, desk, enough floor space to do some yoga (which I conveniently postpone). Best of all, is the two portholes that look out onto the ocean, and the lack of cabin mates that most crew are afflicted with. Three S’s later, epaulettes strapped to shoulders, it’s a gentle stroll to the breakfast buffet. Breakfast is rather continental, nothing to rave about.

8am is the first clinic- a combination of general practice with the odd curve ball. The wonderful nurses do a great job of filtering the trivial from that which is worth consultation, so in a way, the clinics can be quite interesting. There is also the continuity of crew care. Its great working with different ethnic groups, each seem to have a particular fascination (gross generalization to follow); For the Indian continent it is “lack of power”, Eastern Europeans have “terrible pain”, Asians cough with sore throats. Probably more to do with their jobs on the ship than anything else.

11am and it’s self improvement time until lunch. This involves an interactive computer programme where I learn how to say “the ball is on top of my aunty” in Spanish, or how to type without looking at the keyboard… I wasted years. It’s back to the buffet for lunch. The salad bar is great, the main area has about five hot dishes, usually tasty but again not overly, and slightly unhealthy. I take a leisurely three course meal culminating in dessert- cake and fruit. Conversation is fun; there are enough social extroverts to keep it at gutter level, an area I know a fair amount about.

While others head back to work, the casual Doctor gets to go to the guest gym- A buffet of machines that flex and extend every part of the physique. Believe it or not, in three months I have lost weight, grown four more abdominal muscles (a four pack with two to go) and developed an addiction to the elliptical machines. I now walk by pulling myself around with my arms. There is the option of basketball, a swim, a sunbathe, more food, however finding an opponent can be hard as everyone else has to work.

The sand man usual takes hold of me for a mid afternoon snooze. The afternoon clinic passes and evening draws near. Dinner is similar to lunch. Afterwards it more self improvement or its self degradation at the crew bar- Always good for a laugh and a few tales of ship life.

Of course there is the weight of the communication station you carry as you are on call. However they get put in their little electric beds every second day when you are off and can do what you like in an European city. Due to sea days, this seems to come up about every three days, and can be complicated by problem patients.

Internet access is 24/7, phoning home is easy, and people are friendly, but life in a metal box is not all desserts and running machines, well, actually it is."

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